People come into our lives for a reason, sometimes we don’t even really understand why. My heart is that of a free spirit and wanderer, I have had many come into my life, some have stayed and some have moved on or maybe I moved on.
I have had a few relationships in my life and now being single, I see that they all had meaning and added something to my life, and I hope I added something to theirs as well.
I am a hard person to figure out at times and though my light shines, it shines alone in the dark. But I hope that whatever light I shine it will show someone the way.
I feel everything deeply and not everyone can understand or appreciate that. I see things differently as well and not everyone has or understands my vision. What I see and feel ties into that which I do, my writing, philosophizing and sharing whatever thoughts or stories as they come to me.
There is much I need to do and it requires me to be alone at times to focus. I am alone, but not really lonely as I have many in my life that touch my heart daily. Many of you have included me into your lives as well and it has been appreciated and I have enjoyed my time with you.
Now I must journey this path before me alone in heart, thought and soul, but that which I do will be shared with all and whatever message I am meant to deliver will be there for you to see.
I am reaching deeper into my heart and finding that which has been lost for so long…me. Dormant skills have come to the surface and awakened once again and my life is becoming more fulfilling as I journey forward with all that I feel I need to do.
Maybe one day one will see the light who is meant to follow it and come, but today I shine brightly and live as I feel I should.
I may journey alone, but I am not alone in my journey.
“Q: …We wanted to see if you had the ability to expand your mind and your horizons. And for one brief moment, you did.
PICARD: When I realized the paradox.
Q: For that one fraction of a second, you were open to options you had never considered. That is the exploration that awaits you. Not mapping stars and studying nebulae, but charting the unknowable possibilities of existence.”
Star Trek The Next Generation – All Good Things
I small snippet of my favorite episode of STTNG. It has always been an inspiration. It, in my eyes, is about how the present and future can be affect by the past and you must deal with the destructiveness of the past to save your future. It showed how everything, past, present and future is connected.
For most of my life I was always there for someone else and many times I lost myself because of this. I never got to see who or what I was or explore my life to its potential. I was the sacrifice for someone else’s agenda or goal. My life was taken from me, now I’m taking it back!
This means removing and dealing with things that had or have a negative impact on my life. Removing people from my life that were unhealthy and bad influences. To finally set myself free and heal.
This has been my journey, dealing with destructive issues of my past to save my present and future. To experience that one brief moment of realization of all the possibilities of my life. To see what my life can really be and to experience and explore so much more of life. To open my mind to options I never even considered. To live!
That is the exploration, the journey, that awaits me!
The Legend of the Lady of Sioux Bayou
Her name was Katalina and she lived in the Gautier area around the early 1900s. It is said that during the hurricane of 1906 her husband abandoned her leaving her to die so he could steal her inheritance. Rumors state that he tied her up and threw her into the Sioux Bayou to die.
About twenty years later stories started to emerge of people disappearing while in the Sioux Bayou. On one such occasion all that was found was a boat with a message scribbled in blood “Beware of the Kat”.
In the mid 1940s a story emerged of a man, covered in blood, found in his boat floating in the bayou in a near catatonic state and repeating the phrase “The cat will kill you…” over and over.
He regained consciousness long enough to relay the following account:
“I was rowing my canoe through the Sioux Bayou doing some fishing when I heard a woman’s voice. I rowed in the direction of the voice and I saw what looked like a woman from afar off. I rowed towards her and saw a lady standing there, it appeared as if she was floating on the water. I figured she must be standing on something. She appeared to be in distress so I rowed closer asking her name. She replied, “It is Katalina, I need you.”. I was about 20 feet from her when she raised up her arm, pointed at me then wiggled her finger for me to come closer. I rowed over to her and…”
The man died of catastrophic heart failure before he could finish his account of events. To this day he is one of a few to survive long enough to report this deadly encounter. All have died as a result of this encounter even the survivors don’t last long and soon die after being found.
Over the years the occasional report of someone disappearing in the bayou would surface. Often only the boat was found covered in blood. Many locals attribute it to gator attacks but a few knew the truth, it was the Kat that got them.
The final account occurred in 1988 involving three friends, Richard, Marcus and Johnathan, who were on a fishing trip.
The friends went kayaking fishing one day in the bayou when a strange fog appeared and they found themselves separated from each other. All three were experts on the bayou and knew their way around better than most, yet they found themselves lost in the fog. All three carried walkie-talkies and began to communicate to each other. The following was overheard by a fisherman who was a few miles away.
Jonathan: Where you guys at?
Richard: No idea, I don’t recognize this part.
Marcus: Ditto, this is strange…what is that? I hear something.
Richard: I hear it too. Flash your light I think I see you. Yeah, yeah I see you, stay there. I can barely see in this fog!
Fisherman: Hey, you guys need assistance, I’m out here on the river and can come get you in my boat….what fog? It’s clear as can be today!
It is important to note that none of the men heard the fisherman.
Jonathan: You guys ok?
Richard: Yeah, I found Marcus and we’re alright, but we hear what sounds like a lady yelling for help. Gonna check it out.
Marcus: There! Over there! Floating…on…the water? She must be standing on something. She’s wiggling her finger for us to come over. Says she needs us. We’re gonna go help her out…
Richard: What the…!
Jonathan’s radio was filled with horrific screams from Richard and Marcus then followed by an eerie silence.
Jonathan: Guys! What he hell is going on! I’m coming! I can see your lights from here! Wait…who is that? What the…! Screams followed.
A bright light appeared out of nowhere followed by a loud rumbling noise. A strong arm reached down and pulled Jonathan out of his kayak. It was the fisherman! He was able to find Jonathan still alive, but Richard and Marcus were nowhere in sight. All that could be found was the blood soaked kayaks.
The Fisherman gave the following account:
I maneuvered by boat into the bayou and looked for the men. I found myself encountering a strange fog that immediately started to lift upon my arrival. I was then able to see the three kayaks in the remaining still thick fog, so I turned on my search light to see better and increased my speed. I saw a man, Jonathan, swinging in the air at nothing, as if defending himself, and I reached down and grabbed his arm and pulled him aboard. The man was covered in blood and was cut up pretty bad. He was barley conscious and shivering in terror. He regained consciousness long enough to tell me the following:
“I saw her, the lady! I saw my friends hands sink into the water and disappear. If you hear her call, do not go, for once she points at you and calls you to her, you are hers forever. Beware of the Kat!”
He died soon after. I sold my boat the next day and have never been back!
Authorities searched the bayou. No bodies were found.
If you go into the Sioux Bayou and hear a lady call, don’t go for you will never return. Beware of the Kat!
What makes you happy, do that.
What brings adventure to your life, do that.
What heals your heart, do that.
What brings peace to your soul, do that.
But be warned, you can’t have happiness without sorrow, you can’t have adventure without risk, you can’t have healing without pain, and you can’t have peace without turmoil.
But still, do that for it is worth all you experience to get there.
The Final Transmission
No one is ever lost, we are all on our own journey. Don’t judge someone’s journey just because they’re not going your way or the path you think they should follow.
Most people find their path in life, I make my own. I don’t follow established routes in life, I create my own journey and chose my own direction.
If there is no path in the direction I am going, there soon will be!
Don’t judge my life or journey until you look at your own journey. Look at your life first and make sure you’re above reproach and not guilty of the same thing you judge me for.
I bounced around from one job to another before finding the one I have now and was judged my someone who had just as many jobs in the time I knew them here and they quit those jobs for pretty much the same reason I did.
I don’t follow the crowd, that is for sheep and we know what happens to them in the end. Even now I am making my own path. following my own direction and creating a wonderful life for myself.
The journey continues…follow me if you dare!
Seventeen days into 2017 and am hit with sudden and unexpected changes in my life. Just found out today that the park I live in is going on the market to be sold. Not sure at this time what will happen, but for now I plan to stay until I find the need to move. Some of my life has changed in the past few weeks, some good, some bad, but in the end I do like I do when I work security, I just roll with whatever is happening and take it a moment at a time.
If I had the money or the financing I would buy this place in a heartbeat.
2015 saw a major change in my life as I began counseling and went through a breakup, 2016 saw me rise up and 2017 is challenging me to stay afloat and that I will. I refuse to sink this time, I’ve fought too hard to get to this point. I few bad days, a few bad changes, does not mean a bad year.
I will stand my ground!
My life has always been like clay, buried deep in muck, all polluted and formless, but over time I find my life cleaning up and the dirt and pollution that affected me wash away.
Clay when pulled from the ground, processed and cleaned, can then be sued to make many things and can take many forms. It’s all up to the artist and how he sees to form and mold it.
The clay is my life and I mold it, form it and process as I want to see it become. Each day a little more forms and the life I am building slowly starts to appear. I decide the shape and form of what my life will take.
I am the artist and my life is the masterpiece that I create!