Just a few thoughts of mine.
Forget dancing in the moonlight, dance in the daylight. Let people see the free spirit inside, let them see the joy of an unbound life, let them envy the freedom of being you, let them hate and detest that which they are too cowardly to be themselves, yet desire to be. Let them envy your sanity and lust after your insanity.
Let them laugh and mock, for they are the joke and you are the punchline! They laugh not because they find you funny, the laugh because they don’t get it!
Be bizarre, be unusual, be odd, be strange, be weird, be that which stands out!
If people aren’t curious, impressed or afraid, you aren’t trying hard enough!
I’m done with normal. I’m odd, weird and unusual and totally rock it!!!
I don’t choose a life, I live one. Each day I see an opportunity to not only make a difference in the lives of others, but in my own life.
Each day I look for the chance to do something unplanned and off the wall. Sometimes others surprise me, sometimes I surprise myself. I will plan something, but am ready for those plans to change at a moments notice.
I live my life like the wind at times. While I stay grounded and plan for things that need planning, I am not afraid to change other plans as I go and do something far greater than I originally expected.
In the midst of my fears, anxiety and depression there is a tremendous amount of discovery and courage that has allowed me to face all of my fears and worries. Even being terrified of water, yet there I am body surfing in the Gulf. The fear of not living is the worst one of all and that fear I will defeat.
I live my life, I find my own path and if no path is set, I make one.
I am a leaf in the wind and never know where I will land next!
“Q: …We wanted to see if you had the ability to expand your mind and your horizons. And for one brief moment, you did.
PICARD: When I realized the paradox.
Q: For that one fraction of a second, you were open to options you had never considered. That is the exploration that awaits you. Not mapping stars and studying nebulae, but charting the unknowable possibilities of existence.”
Star Trek The Next Generation – All Good Things
I small snippet of my favorite episode of STTNG. It has always been an inspiration. It, in my eyes, is about how the present and future can be affect by the past and you must deal with the destructiveness of the past to save your future. It showed how everything, past, present and future is connected.
For most of my life I was always there for someone else and many times I lost myself because of this. I never got to see who or what I was or explore my life to its potential. I was the sacrifice for someone else’s agenda or goal. My life was taken from me, now I’m taking it back!
This means removing and dealing with things that had or have a negative impact on my life. Removing people from my life that were unhealthy and bad influences. To finally set myself free and heal.
This has been my journey, dealing with destructive issues of my past to save my present and future. To experience that one brief moment of realization of all the possibilities of my life. To see what my life can really be and to experience and explore so much more of life. To open my mind to options I never even considered. To live!
That is the exploration, the journey, that awaits me!
My life has always been like clay, buried deep in muck, all polluted and formless, but over time I find my life cleaning up and the dirt and pollution that affected me wash away.
Clay when pulled from the ground, processed and cleaned, can then be sued to make many things and can take many forms. It’s all up to the artist and how he sees to form and mold it.
The clay is my life and I mold it, form it and process as I want to see it become. Each day a little more forms and the life I am building slowly starts to appear. I decide the shape and form of what my life will take.
I am the artist and my life is the masterpiece that I create!
So this last week I processed and looked closer at a major part of my life. For my entire life I was under the belief that I had suffered, as a teen and child, from severe Epilepsy. I had seizure, medication, doctor visits and all this to confirm that this was a true part of my past life. I have always been proud of the fact I beat the disease in my later teens and was able to move on from it.
Then it happened. Through counseling, family testimony and by my own memories I was able to discover that the truth is I never had Epilepsy, rather it was a misdiagnosis and as it turns out the truth was much deeper and sinister.
When I reviewed the facts things just didn’t add up about me having this disease including a large dosage of medications taken daily. On top of that I took various memories, shared by family members, and life experiences and put them together to come up with the truth of what really happened in my life. Once I pieced together these events and memories it became quite clear of what really happened and that I was abused rather than suffering a disease. I knew all along about some abuse, but I also knew there was more that I haven’t recalled yet.
Once I came to the truth it was like the darkness lightened a little and I felt more free. I am fortunate to have a great counselor who has let me find the truth on my own, who has helped me understand myself and come to terms with my past.
I now move forward with greater hope than before.
The Truth Is Out There…
When a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly it becomes bound in a cocoon of darkness and then becomes nearly fluid as what it once was is dissolved away and then after a long struggle does it emerge a new and beautiful creature.
That should say something right there!
Be Neal Stone