Category Archives: anxiety

Neal’s Quotes

Just a few thoughts of mine.

Forget dancing in the moonlight, dance in the daylight. Let people see the free spirit inside, let them see the joy of an unbound life, let them envy the freedom of being you, let them hate and detest that which they are too cowardly to be themselves, yet desire to be. Let them envy your sanity and lust after your insanity.

Let them laugh and mock, for they are the joke and you are the punchline! They laugh not because they find you funny, the laugh because they don’t get it!

 

Be bizarre, be unusual, be odd, be strange, be weird, be that which stands out!

If people aren’t curious, impressed or afraid, you aren’t trying hard enough!

 

I’m done with normal. I’m odd, weird and unusual and totally rock it!!!

I Live a Life

I don’t choose a life, I live one.  Each day I see an opportunity to not only make a difference in the lives of others, but in my own life.

Each day I look for the chance to do something unplanned and off the wall.  Sometimes others surprise me, sometimes I surprise myself.  I will plan something, but am ready for those plans to change at a moments notice.

I live my life like the wind at times.  While I stay grounded and plan for things that need planning, I am not afraid to change other plans as I go and do something far greater than I originally expected.

In the midst of my fears, anxiety and depression there is a tremendous amount of discovery and courage that has allowed me to face all of my fears and worries.  Even being terrified of water, yet there I am body surfing in the Gulf.  The fear of not living is the worst one of all and that fear I will defeat.

I live my life, I find my own path and if no path is set, I make one.

I am a leaf in the wind and never know where I will land next!

My Trek – That One Brief Moment

“Q: …We wanted to see if you had the ability to expand your mind and your horizons. And for one brief moment, you did.
PICARD: When I realized the paradox.
Q:  For that one fraction of a second, you were open to options you had never considered. That is the exploration that awaits you. Not mapping stars and studying nebulae, but charting the unknowable possibilities of existence.”
Star Trek The Next Generation – All Good Things

I small snippet of my favorite episode of STTNG.  It has always been an inspiration.  It, in my eyes, is about how the present and future can be affect by the past and you must deal with the destructiveness of the past to save your future.  It showed how everything, past, present and future is connected.

For most of my life I was always there for someone else and many times I lost myself because of this.  I never got to see who or what I was or explore my life to its potential.  I was the sacrifice for someone else’s agenda or goal.  My life was taken from me, now I’m taking it back!

This means removing and dealing with things that had or have a negative impact on my life.  Removing people from my life that were unhealthy and bad influences.  To finally set myself free and heal.

This has been my journey, dealing with destructive issues of my past to save my present and future.  To experience that one brief moment of realization of all the possibilities of my life.  To see what my life can really be and to experience and explore so much more of life.  To open my mind to options I never even considered.  To live!

That is the exploration, the journey, that awaits me!

 

Live a Life

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The Life

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Do That

What makes you happy, do that.
What brings adventure to your life, do that.
What heals your heart, do that.
What brings peace to your soul, do that.

But be warned, you can’t have happiness without sorrow, you can’t have adventure without risk, you can’t have healing without pain, and you can’t have peace without turmoil.

But still, do that for it is worth all you experience to get there.

Neal Stone.
The Final Transmission

Journeys

No one is ever lost, we are all on our own journey. Don’t judge someone’s journey just because they’re not going your way or the path you think they should follow.

Most people find their path in life, I make my own. I don’t follow established routes in life, I create my own journey and chose my own direction.

If there is no path in the direction I am going, there soon will be!

Don’t judge my life or journey until you look at your own journey.  Look at your life first and make sure you’re above reproach and not guilty of the same thing you judge me for.

I bounced around from one job to another before finding the one I have now and was judged my someone who had just as many jobs in the time I knew them here and they quit those jobs for pretty much the same reason I did.

I don’t follow the crowd, that is for sheep and we know what happens to them in the end.  Even now I am making my own path. following my own direction and creating a wonderful life for myself.

The journey continues…follow me if you dare!

Changes

Seventeen days into 2017 and am hit with sudden and unexpected changes in my life. Just found out today that the park I live in is going on the market to be sold. Not sure at this time what will happen, but for now I plan to stay until I find the need to move. Some of my life has changed in the past few weeks, some good, some bad, but in the end I do like I do when I work security, I just roll with whatever is happening and take it a moment at a time.

If I had the money or the financing I would buy this place in a heartbeat.

2015 saw a major change in my life as I began counseling and went through a breakup, 2016 saw me rise up and 2017 is challenging me to stay afloat and that I will. I refuse to sink this time, I’ve fought too hard to get to this point. I few bad days, a few bad changes, does not mean a bad year.

I will stand my ground!

I Am Thankful

I posted the following to my Facebook today:

“I am thankful today for the healing journey I am on. Regardless of what happened in my past, my present and future outlook is bright. I had a few false starts when I got here to Mississippi, but now I am on the right track and moving forward full speed ahead.

I am thankful for those who chose to stick with me through this journey and growing point in my life. Some of you have in-boxed me and allowed me to share details and listened. Thank you all!”

Throughout my journey I have met many people.  Some have stayed even in my darkest hour while others have left for various reason, but mostly because they didn’t have the strength to deal or they just weren’t as supportive as they claimed and were in it for themselves.  It’s amazing how fast people will leave you when you decide to live and do what is right for you and no longer live how they want you too.

My ex-gf treated me and called me an option that could be easily gotten rid of (her own words) and when things got tough, sure enough she left.  I am happy about that really.

So many others have joined my journey and watched as I moved forward and grew as a person and worked on my healing.

I am thankful for my counselor who has given me the ear to lsiten and understand and the tools and encouragement to work on my life.  She has helped me see truth about areas in my life that I needed to see.  I have made great discoveries about myself and my past.

I am thankful for knowing my future is bright and I can move forward in the new me I have become.

I am of course very thankful for my readers here on my blog.

Happy Thanksgiving Ya’ll.

The Storm

I sail this sea of my life; I feel the waves as they rock the boat. I see now ahead a great storm fierce and intense. I can see the bow of the boat rise and fall as the waves get stronger and larger. The winds blow hard as my craft rocks side to side rising and falling in the now harsh waves.

Dark clouds ahead of a mighty storm and I realize I cannot go around it and it’s too late to turn back for I can no longer out run it. I see this storm of truth filled with winds of rage, rains of hurt and ravaging waves of anger and pain.

Many have now abandoned ship leaving me to ride this storm alone, for only I can go through this next phase of my life, only I can see the truth for what it is. Many of you have stayed and will be there when the storm clears to show me back to harbor.

I feel the boat rock violently as the storm now rages even closer and I know that all I believed, all I have lived for may soon be up heaved and tossed, only to sink in the end leaving me adrift on whatever wreckage I find to hold, but I will not perish nor will I give in to the storm. What is worth keeping I will save, but the rest can sink…let it go and let it sink.

I approach the storm eyes wide with fear staring straight ahead of what is soon to come. My hands clutched tightly to the wheel holding on on as hard as I can as I steer through the turmoil facing me. I hear the creak of wood, I watch as the sails tighten in the wind and feel the shake of the masts as they try and hold the sails.

I face now the only decision I have to spare “Full speed ahead…I’m going through!”