What the Semicolon means to me.

As I was leaving work I was asked what the semicolon meant. Here is my definition.

“A semicolon is used when an author could’ve chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life.”

It is about moving forward and choosing to continue when you could’ve just quit and given up. It’s knowing life can get hard, but you press forward still regardless of what is thrown at you.

It’s putting the gun back in the holster
It’s flushing the drugs down the toilet
It’s putting the knife back in the drawer
It’s pouring the alcohol down the drain
It’s not letting the demons in your head haunt you
It’s opening your heart despite the fear of being judged
It’s looking at that which torments your life and walking away saying no more!
It’s standing outside feeling the grass under your feet and feeling
the warmth of the sun on your face knowing you made it one more day…and will make it again tomorrow.

After years of being spun around, denial, of my life being wrecked on the shores of despair and hurt, after years of being controlled and cult like environments, I have accepted what is and am on the road to being where I want to be in my life. No matter your age or background, you can always get your life back.

Depression, anxiety, PTSD from childhood trauma, false memories and terrible real ones, these are a few of the demons I fight daily.

Freedom is a simple concept yet so hard to attain, yet it just takes the choice to be free to get started.

It’s not about hope, hope is a beggar always wanting, it’s about giving yourself a chance when you never did before. Stop wanting and start giving yourself a chance. It’s about standing up to what held you down and being stronger for it. It’s no longer fearing tomorrow because now you can face it.

It’s no longer being afraid of the monsters in your life, for they fear you now. And when the monsters come for you, and they will, they will find themselves regretting that decision.

I have faced much yesterday, I will face some more today, and I will be around tomorrow for whatever comes then.

It’s realizing your worth and value when no one else does, because in the end it’s how you feel that matters most. In the end it’s your life and you are in charge of it, no one else.

It’s knowing the memories in your head, real for false, will haunt you, but you will face them, understand them, work through them and separate the truth from the fiction.

It’s empowering yourself and knowing that you only need your belief in yourself to pull it off and make great things happen in your life.

It’s knowing that you’re not the only one and that there are those who will hear of your story and be inspired to not give up…and you’ll probably never know about it.

It’s the chance to live again. It’s the desire to never give up. It’s the choice to see tomorrow regardless of today’s battles.

It’s seeing that small flower push through the cracks of a sidewalk and realizing that little flower is stronger, more determined and more bad-ass than you are! Are you going to let a little flower show you up?

I have chosen to keep going, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how dark it gets, I will never quit. I might fall for a bit, but count on me getting back up and if you’re what made me fall, don’t be there when I get back on my feet.

BE YOUR OWN HERO!!!

The semicolon is a choice to just keep going, to continue, because my story isn’t over yet!


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